The Interviews

March 3, 2009, by , . Leave a Comment

Brendan: In the interest of time, our producers say that we have to bring out both of our guests at the same time. Please welcome our first guest, psychic medium, John Edward, star of the tv show “Crossing Over.” Brian: Our worse guest is animal expert, Richard Idelbert. (enter John Edward and Richard). John Edward: […]

Editor’s Monologue

March 3, 2009, by , . Leave a Comment

As you may have heard, there has been quite a shakeup in the late night programming world. Jay Leno is stepping down from his host position at “The Tonight Show”, Conan O’Brien will be taking the helm at the 11:30 p.m. slot, and Carson Daly’s only viewer gave up falling asleep with the television on for Lent.

The Opening Bit

March 3, 2009, by , . Leave a Comment

We come back from the fake commercial break. Brendan is passing out on the couch while Brian ventures into the audience. Over the break Brian took off one of his socks, put it on his hand and placed a lit cigar in the makeshift puppet’s mouth. Brian then walks up to a woman wearing a lot of makeup and the puppet asks, “Are you going to a kabuki theater after this?”

Spring Fling Through History

February 17, 2009, by Andrew Bean, . Leave a Comment

Everyone has their own opinion as to who should play Spring Fling this May, but wish with caution: Your favorite act may not turn out as planned.

American Idol Rewind: Where are the Stars Today?

February 17, 2009, by Leslie Wentworth, . 29 Comments

In preparation for an exciting new season of American Idol, our reporters hit the streets to see what the past Idol winners were up to these days.

Excerpt from Klosterman’s “V”

February 17, 2009, by Brian Morgan, Amper Editor. Leave a Comment

When I was a young man living in rural North Dakota we lived near a couple abandoned warehouses that were converted into low-income housing.

A Freshmen’s View on Homecoming

October 21, 2008, by Micheal “Never Die for My Sins, I’m Merely a Freshman ” Savard, . Leave a Comment

Parent’s Weekend, what an idea! I couldn’t wait to show my parents the true, behind the scenes, college experience. Shit that those admissions tours don’t cover. Yeah, I messed my room up just to emphasize the whole point of the weekend—I’m in college bitches, and y’all can kiss my ass if you don’t like it! […]

How to Tell if Other Schools Just Aren’t That Into You

October 21, 2008, by Andrew “The Third Wheel” Bean, . Leave a Comment

Williams: Hey, can we talk for a bit?
Wes: Yeah, totes. What’s the deal?

It’s 10 O’Clock and My Parents Know Where I Am

October 21, 2008, by Lindsay “Parent Trap” Abrams, . Leave a Comment

Based on a true story:

What Freshmen’s Rooms at Home Have Been Converted Into

October 21, 2008, by Leslie “J.G.” Wentworth, . Leave a Comment

1. Walk-in terrarium

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